Firstly, accept my apologies for not being able to post anything for a long time. Well, I got married and was busy in managing things around me (I’m sure, most of you can relate to me and those who cannot relate, you will understand it soon! ;-).
Well, I have a lot to share and, especially about my recent solo trip after wedding… (Well, I guess now I caught some eye balls).
When I decided to take a solo trip just after the wedding, I got some gruesome reactions and comments from my friends & relatives. I had no idea what was so wrong with my solo trip after marriage!
Traveling have always been an integral part of my life. Since childhood, I’ve been travelling & have taken many solo as well as group trips. Amongst all trips, the contribution of solo trips has been the most enriching to me. At a very tender age, my parents allowed me to explore the places in my own way. My father always supported me to take solo trips which further led me to often get lost in unknown terrains. Though, one can hardly find this in India owing to the alarming rate of crimes happening against women. As a matter of fact, at a very young age I learnt how to follow a safety regime in order to take solo trips and tackle an unwanted situation. You know, after carrying out the same activity in a regular manner, we no longer think about the steps involved to do the same as it becomes the part of our life. The same holds true for me when it comes to solo traveling; it simply became a part of my life.
“…but many raised their eyes and questioned me and my husband about it and we were taken abacked by their logic.”
Well, I’m a married now and just after 3 months of the wedding, I hit the roads independently. When I got an opportunity to travel after the wedding, it was very exciting and enthralling to me, but many people raised their eyes and questioned me and my husband about it and we were taken abacked by their logic. My husband and I was being questioned about our married life, traveling reasons, marriage responsibilities, future plannings and what not! Those questions are the reason why I’m writing this blog. I may not change their psychology, but I want to really share with you all ‘why every woman should take solo trips after marriage?’. I’m quite confident only a handful of women in India might have taken a solo trip after women and surely, they have faced similar questions from their confidants and acquaintances.
- Why do you travel alone? You should travel along with your husband.
- Don’t you have friends to travel along with you?
- Don’t you fear to travel alone? You should think about the kind of crimes happening against women. Always travel along with your husband.
- How do you manage to travel alone?
- Are you really married? Don’t you think this is going to affect your married life later?
“A Happy marriage doesn’t mean to lose self-identity by either of the partners”
Indeed, marriage is the most beautiful part of life. To me, marriage is the union of two different entities who grow together, complement each other and support each other to become better and stronger than ever. However, there is a common notion among people that after marriage one has to give up their hobbies/ Interests to complement each other. This makes the whole equation of marriage inconvenient and demanding, which further leads to unhappiness. And, could anyone please tell me that how could you expect a person to inflict happiness, if s/he is deeply unhappy from within?
It has been 7 years of our togetherness (Though, we got married just a few months ago). Before wedding, many-a-times Jeet and I had discussed the aspect of traveling, and most importantly – Solo Traveling, where he had concerns about my safety, but together we decided that neither of us should give up our interest and hobbies. As he knew that I have been traveling independently for a long while and I follow the safety regime religiously, he didn’t find any problem with my solo traveling. And, that was a big relief for me. You see, with marriage comes many changes in different aspects of life; need, priority, and choice changes and along with them, the couple mend their ways and beautifully arises together as a team. So did we!
While Jeet follows his regime of sports as a part of his hobby, I love to travel independently once in a while. 😀
As my work demanded travel, I started the trip and thought to extend the trip for no purpose, but to explore unknown territories and some known, but long forgotten streets after winding up the work. I travelled to Dharamshala, Mcleodganj, and Puducherry. Once again hitting Puducherry was like running back to those best memories of life. Well, I will be sharing about my trips in next upcoming blogs. On this blog, my effort is only to break the stereotypes about married women’s solo traveling. Rather, I advocate that every woman should take a solo trip after the wedding. After the wedding, we go through many transitions (physical, emotional & hormonal) which makes it imperative for us to move independently to a place, spend a peaceful ‘ME’ time, get rejuvenated and appreciate the newness in our life.
Here goes the reasons why did I take solo travel after the wedding!
“I would not say that I travel because I’m sane, rather I would say traveling keeps me sane.”
1. Self dependence is as important as interdependence
Marriage is far beyond what we see in movies, it comes with its own set of advantages and limitations. It’s a beautiful equation of love, dependence, care and supporting each other. The couple tends to depend on each other for different things; be it grocery shopping, cooking, bar-hopping or anything. Absolutely, Codependence is must for a happy married life.
Even, my husband & I look up to each other for most of the things. We try to do things together, which is very assuring and intimate for us. But, on the same time we keep our profession separate and our interest/ hobby alive. My husband is passionate about basketball, hence everyday he spends a few hours on a basketball court, practicing the game. I respect this fact and never stop him from doing so. On the same time, when it comes to traveling, he has never prevented me to do so.
We truly value our individuality as much as our togetherness!
2. Solo Traveling is my passion
When I say traveling keeps me sane, I mean it!
I’ve been traveling since childhood. After a while, I took up solo trips which helped me immensely to grow up and conquer my fears. It was never like I did not have companions to travel or trips with friends wasn’t fun, but I consciously opted for solo trips. One of the major findings was that ‘ME’ time brings the best and the worst of yours to you. It unfurls every layer you’ve got. You get to know yourself in a better way.
I confess that I’m addicted to Jeet and I love traveling with him. It has got a different charm altogether. But, on the same time I never ceased to take independent trips. In the last 7 years of our relationship, I picked up solo traveling very often and Jeet respected my decision & determination to travel independently.
I love to wander and collect my thoughts, and to lost in unknown terrain to find myself.
3. Do not lose the self-identity in this journey
“When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.” – Eckhart Tolle
It has been rightly said that by tossing away our interest/passion that defines a part of us, we only lose our true identity.
The first thing, which we agreed in our relationship was to keep pursuing our interests, hobby and passion to keep ourselves alive and authentic. I still remember that I took my first solo trip when I was under intense pressure during graduation. I desperately needed a break and I was not in the mood to waste the weekend by curling up on a couch and whining about everything & everyone. So, I opted to explore Nainital, Uttarakhand. When the trip was over, I had recouped from the mood swings & had a clarity about my education. I was all prepared to walk extra miles to handle the those pressures.
I guess that particular, Nainital trip was an eye-opener for me, it led me to discover the idea/things that keeps me happy and strengthen my forbearance.
4. Time apart pulls you harder towards each other
Time apart reinforces love & feelings for each other. When you’re away from each other, you start missing every trivial detail about each other, those silly jokes, smiles, late night talks… everything, I mean it!
Be rest assured to get a lot of text messages and Skype calls as he would find it so difficult to spend time without you! Ha ha… I know, time apart pulls you harder as I said!
Jeet and I make sure that we go on a trip together after each of my solo trips. What else could make me happier other than traveling! 😀
5. Just RELAX!
There are times when all you need is to RELAX. Trust me, every trip needs not to involve: exploration, struggle, making itineraries and checking those bookings. Sometimes go to a place just to RELAX. Initially, you may find it weird as the idea of sipping chilled beer and relaxing on the beach may not sound practical, but trust me, you will enjoy every second of your trip when you’ve no expectation and objective, except to relax.
I went to Puducherry just to relax and sip beer. I had no other work to do there. It was an absolute idea for me; I went for café hopping, street shopping, roaming around the streets on a bicycle, eat bakery items and sleep after having chilled beer. Ahhh!
Doesn’t it sound great to spend time all by yourself?
Nothing much is required in life, if you can have a few days to relax and unwind yourself in the lap of the nature. There are many other beautiful places which are safe for solo women travelers. Travel and win over yourself!
Those who thinks traveling alone after marriage is a sin, I would urge you to come out of this notion. Unless you indulge in some solo trip, how would you understand the benefits of solo trips? Before, you start contemplating over it, take a look at the Promanade beach at early morning.
If you’re among those who have taken solo trips after marriage or you want to go on a solo trip, do let me know your experience. I will be all ears. Nothing is more interesting than meeting or knowing people sharing similar interests. Isn’t it?
Love & Cheers